Goals • Chaos • Free Advertising

"My philosophy of life is that if we make up our mind what we are going to make of our lives, then work hard toward that goal, we never lose - somehow we win out." - Ronald Reagan

A lot of the time I head into the weekend without a plan or a goal, and just go wherever the wind takes me. I'm ok with that when it comes to the weekend. But setting long term goals for myself is important. I don't have the kind of "care free" personality where I can always float along and end up where I end up. I need to have direction. I need to have motivation. And I want to feel like I've accomplished something by working hard to reach a goal I've set for myself.

That last part is important. Reaching a goal I've set for myself. I am doing this for me. To prove to myself I can do it. To feel good about myself. To improve my health. I don't want to get all sexified so the boys will like me. (Though, who doesn't mind a little positive attention once in awhile).

So I've compiled a list of my own goals, no matter how petty.

• To be healthy - carrying around this extra weight has it's obvious risks, like susceptibility to cardiovascular disease and diabetes.
• To look good in a bikini - I initially wrote "to wear a bikini," but I am physically able to do that. What it looks like though, not so great. Even a one piece is not too great. I want to accept invites to the pool, the lake, the beach, without thinking of what to cover up with.
• To wear single digit jeans - My short term goal, and one which I would be satisfied with is to wear a size 7. I don't care as much about what I weigh and more so on my measurements.
• To reach 140 lbs. - This is what my driver's license says I weigh. I'm shooting for honesty here!
• To run without getting winded - I will not die with any regrets if I never run a marathon. Or even a half marathon. I just want to be able to run a good distance (say, two miles?) without having to stop and catch my breath.
• To have no rolls when I sit down - I've never had this. And I want this.
• To wear shorts - Or maybe short shorts? I want to have great legs! Shorts, skirts, dresses, hooker shoes!! 
•  To pierce my belly button - Because I can.
• To get a tattoo that goes up my side - Also, because I can.
• To do a pull-up - A non-assisted, hanging, pull-up.
• To go clothes shopping and fit in everything I like - Currently, finding jeans is a huge headache. I have a big butt and big thighs. And...a big stomach. So finding the right fit is hard. Some will fit my waist if I could get just get them over my butt. Some I can't even pull past my thighs. And they're all the same size. When I was a size 10, every size 10 fit.
• To make healthy eating a way of life - I hate feeling like I'm being forced to eat grilled chicken and veggies instead of french fries and chicken strips. I want healthy food to be my preference.
• To stop chewing my nails - I know this isn't a fitness goal, but it goes under health. And confidence. I have to wear acrylics to keep me from chewing my nails, but I still chew my cuticles. STOP IT!
• To get my associates degree - I'm a late bloomer when it comes to school. I hate school a lot. But I'm going to finish and get my degree in Business. No matter how long it takes.
• To ride my bicycle to my moms house -  from my house. 15.4 miles. And back. 30.8 miles total.
• Tough mudder - ...TOUGH MUDDER!!!
• To dive with sharks...in Australia -  reef sharks in the Great Barrier Reef to be exact. I should be in good shape for that. I'm totally doing it.
• To kayak in the ocean - in a bikini.
• To wear out the dogs when we go for a run - I wish I had their energy. Sometimes they're MORE hyper when we get back from their walk/run.
• To learn to swing dance - I want to be swung around, picked up and all that. I'll be the best dancer at a wedding, granted there's a fella there that also knows how.

I am going to accomplish most of these things by this time next year. That's what this blog is for. To keep me accountable. To track my progess. And hopefully be somebody's inspiration:)



They have so much damn energy.

OK, here's the free advertising bit. I'm going to vouch for this ready to drink protein shake because the taste is outstanding and it's similar to the Muscle Milk shakes I sometimes get when I plan poorly after the gym, which I usually do.

Monster Energy has come out with these protein shakes and they are delicious! A full can contains 200 calories, 3 grams of fat, 19 grams of carbs, 16 grams of sugars and 25 grams of protein, as well as Monster's energy blend! I know there are better choices with lower calories, sugars and carbs but before or after a work out, these things do the trick!



Starting Slowly...Unintentionally

"Alls I got to do is keep bein' a good person. No matter what, good things'll come my way. Everything's gonna happen for me, just so long as I never have no in my heart." - Joe Dirt

I'm a week in and I've gone to the gym twice, but I'm on a good meal plan during the week, although my weekend "plan" really sucks. And according to the scale, I gained weight. I contemplated smashing it with the hammer I always carry around in my car, but then decided I'm not going to let myself get down because of what the scale says. It tells lies.

I did kettlebell on my first day back at the gym. According to MyFitnessPal.com, 60 minutes of that burns 906 calories. That seems a bit high so I try not to fulfill my daily calorie allowance based on that. Especially because I find myself taking frequent breaks during this 60 minutes so I don't pass out or throw up. I'm in terrible shape.


In good spirits even after realizing what terrible shape I'm in.

 I got a new bicycle and helmet (safety first!) and rode it about a mile on Monday before I felt like my legs were gonna fall off. Then I forced myself to take the dogs for a walk after that.



 

Two of three dinguses. Usually I do three separate walks, as I don't have one of them well behaved dogs like on TV who don't pull me down the street. Tsunami only pants after a good walk.

 Tuesday I did what felt like a thousand squats, lunges, deadlifts and ran more than I'd like to in an hour, and now I'm walking like a have a stick up my butt. It's almost enough to call for a gym break, but I'll keep on keepin' on.

Word.

The New Version Of Me

“I am old, Gandalf. I don't look it, but I am beginning to feel it in my heart of hearts. Well-preserved indeed! Why, I feel all thin, sort of stretched, if you know what I mean: like butter that has been scraped over too much bread. That can't be right. I need a change, or something.” -Bilbo Baggins

Losing weight is hard.

The toughest part about that statement is that I already did it once.




Me at my heaviest :(

  

I hit a maximum of 218 lbs. before I realized that I had a huge problem with my weight and I had to do something to change it. So I did. With the motivation from my friends, the people at the gym,  and my co-workers, (mostly catty motivation from the co-workers, like temptation with homemade chocolate cake that my competition would bring but refuse to eat) I dropped down to 148 lbs, my lowest weight EVER.



Me at my lightest! :)



Then I got tired. Tired of eating the right things. Tired of working out. Relationships happened and failed and I got depressed. So the weight piled back on...

Can you imagine the disappointment I felt after stepping back on the scale and realizing that I've put on over 50 lbs of FAT in the last two years?? I don't know if I've developed issues from gaining the weight  back so fast, but there are a few things that I've used as reasons/excuses not to work out for over a year. And I would eat whatever I wanted, as much as I wanted.

I used ignore whatever pain or ailment I developed when I had a goal before. At 30 years old it's time to stop making excuses and make the changes that I need to...no...WILL continue for the rest of my life. No more negativity. I will do this for me.

This is the beginning of my journey. To fitness. To transformation (inside and out). To sanity. To lucidy. And it starts today.